*Knowing*

Posted by Rebecca L. on Sunday, February 27, 2011
Just a quick note on a small revelation I had this week. I started on twitter (never thought I'd like it, but I REALLY do) and discovered what a great place it is to network for the Rhythms of Grace ministry. It really is wonderfully comforting to endure a major meltdown from my Aspie son, only to see someone else tweeting that the same thing is going on in their life at that very moment! Real time communications are amazing.

Now maybe this isn't a revelation for anyone else, but as I started to "follow and be followed" on twitter, I started to notice my reactions to people who communicate with me. For those I follow, the tweets are not generally directed at me personally but go out to everyone. But in an odd way, I come to feel that I *know* them in some way, that we're acquaintances.  That odd juxtaposition of *knowing* someone and yet not really knowing anything about them in a real sense is new to me...especially since my vocation is all about getting to know people in very intimate ways. You can't pray with someone through a crisis and not feel a connection!

Here's the revelation I had: I THINK that that feeling of *knowing* people who are essentially strangers is akin to my Aspie son's way of relating to others. Even those he knows most intimately--me, his sister, his family and friends--are not truly present to him. In a  very real way, we are ALL strangers to him. Not that he doesn't recognize us, of course, he's super bright. But I suspect that he has never really FELT that intimate sense of *knowing* another human being that I feel with him, or his sister, or even with friends and acquaintances.

I could be wrong, of course -- I've found that NOTHING, ABSOLUTELY NOTHING is certain in the world of Autism. My son is constantly amazing me by what he accomplishes, what he knows, what he can do. AND what he finds difficult. AND what he has done successfully before but somehow can't seem to do now, but probably will do again at some point (if you have an Aspie child, you know exactly what I mean! I roll my eyes every time I read the term "secured skill." HA HA) Never Say Never.

Anyway, I'm praying with it and hoping for more insight into the children I love so dearly. Frederica Matthewes-Green paints an image of her autistic grandson as one like an astronaut orbiting all alone in space <Earth to K, are you out there?> My prayer is that little revelations like this may one day bring my little spaceman and I into a place where we can TRULY *know* one another.

I invite you to share your thoughts and experiences...or even follow me! :)


Tags: asperger's twitter "aspie loneliness" "never say never"